Tea And Crumpets

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My esteemed colleagues, please read my most recent white paper entitled  “I Just Shit My Pants” as it explores the latest trends in colon cleansing and chocolate milk enemas. 

22 Responses to “Tea And Crumpets”

  1. Jared Says:

    Is this what that kid was talking about when he wrote Chocolate Rain?

  2. MarshallDog Says:

    Sonofabitch, I wish I had read this post before I posted on the coffee enema entry. So they’re using chocolate milk now? How the hell do they keep coming up with new things to shove up their butts? Is it just one guy looking in his fridge and trying one liquid at a time? Will he eventually move onto more solid foodstuffs like mustard? (And in this context, does “foodstuffs” take on a whole new meaning?)

  3. Dr. Professor Synginson Buggery Says:

    MarshallDog, Sir, you obviously know nothing of the human colon as apposed to me who has studied it up close for 3 decades. Mustard was experimented with in 72 by Dr. Jumpin Jiminy III and he concluded the following. Yellow variations, although tasty with head cheese on rye, has no place in the ass. The more refined brown or Indian mustards tended to please the patient and were able to cure most cases of “Swamp Ass.” But the mother lode of mustards is of course Grey Poupon who’s name came directly from Dr. Jiminy’s research laboratory. This colon treatment is widely appreciated in Germany.

  4. Huinca Says:

    I was horrified to google ‘homeopathy cancer’ and get half a million results.
    And all of them are about treating cancer with homeopathy, not advicing NOT to do it.

    What frickin CRAP.

  5. MarshallDog Says:

    Thank you for the info, Dr. Prof., but if Grey Poupon were the most effective enema, why is it mostly available in glass jars as opposed to handier squeeze bottles? Clearly the marketing is behind the science on this one.

  6. Rune from Oslo Says:

    Someone’s way ahead of you.

  7. Dick Says:

    I’ve seen that you can get drunker faster if you ingest beer anally, perhaps that would be a better alternative?

  8. Rune from Oslo Says:

    Who did you see do that ?

  9. Skelliot Says:

    Sign me up for the first chocolate milk enema.

  10. H.R. Pufinstuf Says:

    Brilliant! I would like to read this white paper while sitting on the toilet.

  11. dangblog Says:

    Would it be straying too far from this blog’s topic to consider urine-based medicine? Or is that another blog altogether? I see a great book on this topic available at Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/29el67 Too nauseating to actually read, but the title is inspiring.

  12. two dogs Says:

    danblog, is that what’s called “taking the piss”?

  13. Rune from Oslo Says:

    Would it be straying too far from this blog’s topic to consider urine-based medicine?

    Piss medicine would figuratively be very crapbased indeed.
    It would physically be close.
    BTW from dangblog’s link a couple of titles:

    “Golden Fountain : The Complete Guide to Urine Therapy”
    “The Water of Life: A Treatise on Urine Therapy”
    “Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth: Book 1 ”
    Your Own Perfect Medicine: The Incredible Proven Natural Miracle Cure that Medical Science Has Never Revealed!
    “Your Own Perfect Medicine: The Incredible Proven Natural Miracle Cure that Medical Science Has Never Revealed! “

  14. Walabio Says:

    ¿Where is the white paper? You could be nice and make a link to it.

  15. Reverend Ron Raeth Says:

    Perhaps the white paper is in the rest room, where it can be put to good use?

    You know.

    Wiping up crap.

  16. Dan Says:

    Just as long as there’s no Vinegar enema…

  17. Cameron Says:

    Why use Chocolate Milk? Doesn’t white milk come out chocolate AFTER the enema? Just reuse and conserve!
    /barf

  18. Stephanie in Louisville Says:

    At the hospital I work at they use molasses. If molasses is good enough for a hospital then it is good enough for me.

  19. Ezequiel Waterfall Says:

    I’m Happy with this website, the info would be a great aid to many visitor, I will be promoting this blog. A Thank you very much

  20. Cold North Wind Says:

    Isn’t a “white paper” sort of a misnomer ? In a scatalogical kind of way – -

  21. Buy Gourmet Online Says:

    thanks for that

  22. California Liposuction Says:

    I have been following your blog for 3 weeks now and I should say I am starting to enjoy your posts. How do I subscribe to your website?

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