Author Archive

Jenny McCarthy’s Crap-Based Hypocrisy

March 4, 2009

My apologies for my long absence from Crap-Based Medicine. I spent that time coming to terms with how Jenny McCarthy could say this:

Mercury is the second worst neurotoxin on the planet, and that’s a fact. Get it out of our shots!

and then this:

I love [the possibly first worst neurotoxin on the planet injected into my fucking face], I absolutely love it. I get it minimally, so I can still move my face. But I really do think it’s a savior.

Jenny McCarthy, you’re a fucking idiot.

Advertisements

Quantum Touch

August 7, 2008

Here’s an idea. Let’s say you come up with a bullshit con that only requires you to wave your sweaty, hairy palms over someone’s bum knee before you declare their energies healed and charge them $500. Let’s say you call it “Therapeutic Touch.” Let’s say an 11-year old proves that you’re full of shit. WHAT DO YOU DO? (more…)

Magnet Therapy: Does it Work?

July 3, 2008

Do magnets affect the iron in your blood, increasing circulation and bettering your health? Well, tell me this: (more…)

Do Vaccines Cause Autism?

May 22, 2008

Our crack team of scienticians have investigated. Read on for the full report.

(more…)

Crap-Based Mailbag

April 17, 2008

Nothing Sacred Says:
April 17, 2008 at 2:12 am

Can we give suggestions? I found this crap today: http://www.advancedhealthplan.com/ Why is it that the alternative health people who supposedly have all the answers have the crappiest websites?

The answer to your first question is: yes. The answer to your second question is complex and must be answered in stages. Stage 1 is an intensive study to determine the veracity of the assumption behind the question. The results of this study (conducted by the Crap-Based Medicine team) follow. (more…)

Oh Dear, an Update.

April 12, 2008

It has come to our attention that readers are demanding updates to Crap-Based Medicine. On behalf of my esteemed colleagues, I’d like to point out that crap-based medicine in general has been updated very little in the past several centuries, so why should you expect any different?

Wait. That’s not true. (more…)

We are all Heath Ledger.

February 14, 2008

Bill Maher says prescription drugs are evil because beloved Hollywood hunks can OD on them, so we should all just take “natural” remedies like tulip petals and bark. I agree. And do you know what else is all-natural?

(more…)

Breaking news on homeopathy!

February 7, 2008

This hot news item just came in on the wire, concerning homeopathy: (more…)

HA.

January 31, 2008

Take that, Steve.