My esteemed colleagues, please read my most recent white paper entitled “I Just Shit My Pants” as it explores the latest trends in colon cleansing and chocolate milk enemas.
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Crap-Based Medicine 
February 14, 2008 at 4:02 pm |
Is this what that kid was talking about when he wrote Chocolate Rain?
February 14, 2008 at 5:49 pm |
Sonofabitch, I wish I had read this post before I posted on the coffee enema entry. So they’re using chocolate milk now? How the hell do they keep coming up with new things to shove up their butts? Is it just one guy looking in his fridge and trying one liquid at a time? Will he eventually move onto more solid foodstuffs like mustard? (And in this context, does “foodstuffs” take on a whole new meaning?)
February 14, 2008 at 6:42 pm |
MarshallDog, Sir, you obviously know nothing of the human colon as apposed to me who has studied it up close for 3 decades. Mustard was experimented with in 72 by Dr. Jumpin Jiminy III and he concluded the following. Yellow variations, although tasty with head cheese on rye, has no place in the ass. The more refined brown or Indian mustards tended to please the patient and were able to cure most cases of “Swamp Ass.” But the mother lode of mustards is of course Grey Poupon who’s name came directly from Dr. Jiminy’s research laboratory. This colon treatment is widely appreciated in Germany.
February 15, 2008 at 9:01 am |
I was horrified to google ‘homeopathy cancer’ and get half a million results.
And all of them are about treating cancer with homeopathy, not advicing NOT to do it.
What frickin CRAP.
February 15, 2008 at 5:31 pm |
Thank you for the info, Dr. Prof., but if Grey Poupon were the most effective enema, why is it mostly available in glass jars as opposed to handier squeeze bottles? Clearly the marketing is behind the science on this one.
February 15, 2008 at 9:46 pm |
Someone’s way ahead of you.
February 16, 2008 at 10:29 pm |
I’ve seen that you can get drunker faster if you ingest beer anally, perhaps that would be a better alternative?
February 16, 2008 at 10:40 pm |
Who did you see do that ?
February 17, 2008 at 7:31 am |
Sign me up for the first chocolate milk enema.
February 17, 2008 at 7:50 pm |
Brilliant! I would like to read this white paper while sitting on the toilet.
February 18, 2008 at 2:12 am |
Would it be straying too far from this blog’s topic to consider urine-based medicine? Or is that another blog altogether? I see a great book on this topic available at Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/29el67 Too nauseating to actually read, but the title is inspiring.
February 18, 2008 at 8:24 am |
danblog, is that what’s called “taking the piss”?
February 18, 2008 at 6:45 pm |
Would it be straying too far from this blog’s topic to consider urine-based medicine?
Piss medicine would figuratively be very crapbased indeed.
It would physically be close.
BTW from dangblog’s link a couple of titles:
“Golden Fountain : The Complete Guide to Urine Therapy”
“The Water of Life: A Treatise on Urine Therapy”
“Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth: Book 1 ”
Your Own Perfect Medicine: The Incredible Proven Natural Miracle Cure that Medical Science Has Never Revealed!
“Your Own Perfect Medicine: The Incredible Proven Natural Miracle Cure that Medical Science Has Never Revealed! “
February 19, 2008 at 1:53 am |
¿Where is the white paper? You could be nice and make a link to it.
February 19, 2008 at 5:32 pm |
Perhaps the white paper is in the rest room, where it can be put to good use?
You know.
Wiping up crap.
February 20, 2008 at 6:34 am |
Just as long as there’s no Vinegar enema…
February 20, 2008 at 8:06 am |
Why use Chocolate Milk? Doesn’t white milk come out chocolate AFTER the enema? Just reuse and conserve!
/barf
February 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm |
At the hospital I work at they use molasses. If molasses is good enough for a hospital then it is good enough for me.
January 29, 2010 at 9:23 pm |
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March 3, 2010 at 3:51 am |
Isn’t a “white paper” sort of a misnomer ? In a scatalogical kind of way – –
March 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm |
thanks for that
May 16, 2010 at 5:22 am |
I have been following your blog for 3 weeks now and I should say I am starting to enjoy your posts. How do I subscribe to your website?